Outta the Burbs: Portland

I loved Portland. You will too. It's clean and nice, and full of hipsters with tattoos but also just generally nice people. I mean...I swung around a loaded gun by accident and I think I was the most upset by it. Well, maybe except D. I absolutely loved my time there, ate and drank way too much, played an obscene amount of big buck hunter, and ate more pizza at 2am than a human being should eat. I kept drunkenly slurring "it's okay! I'll get a job at Imbibe and we can move here!" One can dream. Without further ado: Portland.

delicious bowl from the Bye and Bye

Mason jar boozefest, prior to spotting the girl with bird barettes

michelada from some fancy schmancy brunch place downtown

breakfast pizza from fancy schmancy brunch place

michelada from Por Que No, aka the best.

ceviche from Por Que No

mas ceviche

y tacos from Por Que No

Vegan sandwich from Sweetpea Baking Co.

FOOD CARTS!!

what's that? oh, you know, just some fish heads

Euro Trash breakfast fries

and this was about half of everything we ate and an eighth of what we drank. Not pictured: brunch at Doug Fir, copious amounts of pizza, trail mix in bed, 2am donuts, hot and spicy at Dot's Cafe. Stops at Bar Bar, Crow Bar, Red Flag, Radio Room, Hungry Tiger Too, Amnesia Brewing Company, Florida Room, My Father's Place, Nick's Famous Coney Island, Whiskey Soda Lounge dinner and drinks, East End, second dinner and drinks at Bunk Bar, and probably others that I'm forgetting.I had an amazing time, and now I'm hungry and yearning to go back.

Outta the Burbs: Celebrate Lebowski in June

June is non-officially the Bay Area's month of Lebowski, which is great because it coincides with my birthday but terrible because I hate making white russians at work.

by Derek Gores, via Facebook event page 

by State of Shock Studio's, via Facebook event page

First off, because I want you know in time to check out opening night, is "Quentin vs. Coen: An Art Show Tribute to Tarantino and the Brothers." The opening reception, held this Thursday night (June 2nd) from 4-10pm, will be your first chance to view the mix of original paintings and affordable prints gathered into an homage to the two great directing teams. Opening night, expect free signed and numbered Big Lebowski prints to the first 50 to arrive, with approximately 100 mini prints being handed out throughout the night. While the show runs through the 30th, the only time to catch free arty swag is during the opening, so cut work early and book your ass up to San Francisco.
Spoke Art
816 Sutter St., at Jones, San Francisco
opening night 4-10pm, exhibit Tues-Sat, 12-7pm. 
event page

And in second but no less awesome news, Primitive Screwheads is presenting "Much Ado About Lebowski," a "live staged parody about a man named Sir Geoffery of Lebowski, who lived a simple, humble life until the day he was mistaken for Geoffery of Lebrowski. On that day, one man's quiet life turns into utter chaos full of kidnappings, escaped prisoners, rug peeing, theatrical porn, and a severed toe." The show will blend old Elizabethan text with the Coen Brothers' Big Lebowski (and Raising Arizona) to produce a one-of-a-kind interpretation of the Big Lebowski, as "writ by William Shakespeare."
Every Friday, Saturday, and Sunday in June. 
Doors at 7pm, show at 8pm. 
$20 advance, $25 at the door.
tickets
CellSpace
2050 Bryant at 18th, San Francisco

Outta the Burbs: Straw (San Francisco)

Every once in a while, we leave suburbia. And while this blog is about all the great things you can find without crossing a bridge or going through a tunnel, we'd be remiss in not mentioning some truly amazing things going on outside our bubble. Things worth paying a $6 toll or a $25 parking garage fee for. Which is what brings us to Straw, our first Outta the Burbs post.

Straw's carny cuisine started gaining buzz on local blogs like Grubstreet and Eater months ago, but just got its liquor license last Friday, which was enough to finally prompt a visit. We were lucky enough to sneak in before another duo could swoop the Tilt-a-Whirl table, seating made out of one of the carnival attraction’s retired red chairs. Newly outfitted with bright patterned pillows and a vibrant blue table, it took up a good corner of the already small dining area. The owner mentioned his desire to make the space feel more like a friend’s dinner party than a formal dining experience, and the collection of kitsch, low lighting, and tightly packed tables transforms the small space from cramped to cozy.

Real straw!

Other décor and whimsical touches included a mason jar lighting fixture, beers served in milkshake glasses (look for sangria slushies and pale ale push pops in the future), and water presented in recycled milk bottles. A pyramid of cartoonish vegetable cans (each with a big “yuck” on its label) stood stacked in one window, while a wide-eyed kid gleefully awaited cotton candy on a One Shot Harris print mounted on the wall across from us. But while the décor was playful and eclectic, the real fun came with the menu.

Don't mind the finger, focus on the wings

It’s intimidating in the sense that everything looks so inventive and playful that making up your mind sounds as daunting as sword swallowing. We settled on the Fireball (Mary’s free-range cinnamon sriracha buffalo wings served with a cinnamon cream) and the Mac Attack (mac n cheese with apple and Niman ranch maple-glazed bacon) for starters. We both loved the Fireball, especially the cinnamon cream dipping sauce, which D urged me to scoop up with my wing “like a nacho.” While he could have used more of a kick from the wings, my wussy mouth loved the restrained use of spice. The apples in the Mac Attack were a nice, crisp counter to the rich cheese and bacon, making the dish addictive, flavorful, and hard for our server to pry from our hands.

Mac Attack: Apple and Bacon Mac N Cheese

Main course selection posed even more of a problem for our indecisive minds, with D struggling to decide between the Bearded Lady (pulled pork, blackberry coulis, chipotle bbq, and citrus slaw) and Boxcar Children (Niman Ranch pork belly with peanut butter satay and jalapeno jam), while The Ringmaster (Niman Ranch ground chuck burger with cheddar in a house-glazed donut) and the Fried Chicken-n-Waffle Monte Cristo (Mary’s free-range chicken breast with raspberry jam and swiss on a Belgian waffle) duked it out in my dome. We ended up deciding on the Bearded Lady and The Ringmaster, shoving our children’s book-covered menus out of reach to prevent further wavering.

Bearded Lady

Ringmaster

I loved the Ringmaster. Ever since watching the episode of Man Vs. Food where Adam eats a Krispy Kreme burger, a craving for burgers wrapped in pastries has remained deep-seated in my psyche. The simple combination of salty burger and sweet donut, and omission of any other ingredients (it's seriously just burger cheese and bun), results in a balance of tastes, leaning slightly more towards the savory initially but finishing with a subtle sugar-glaze taste. Like all the best foods, you can feel your arteries slowly clogging and your organs slowing down. We both subbed in crispy sweet potato tater tots for the chips that come with the sandwiches, which were served with a bbq sauce and used as a breather between burger bites. I was already well past dangerously full levels, so I couldn't bring myself to sample D's pulled pork, which he assured me was delicious in the meat department but lacking in the slaw, which is served on the side.

Tots!

Funnel Cake, with Cotton Candy and Corn on the Cob Gelato in Background

We finished with a powdered sugar-dusted funnel cake with three different dipping sauces. One was a very thin chocolate sauce, not unlike what the Spanish serve with their churros, and the other two consisted of a vanilla pudding and chunky strawberry preserves. The orange blossom cotton candy (tufts of spun sugar the color of a blue slushie) dissolved almost instantly in our mouths, leaving lingering hints of sugary goodness and summertime nostalgia. I had to ask our server what the deuce corn on the cob gelato was, and out came a scoop of creamy gelato, mottled with bright yellow pieces of corn destined to end up between your teeth. I couldn’t hang, but D (disclaimer: he likes the buttered popcorn jellybean) was a fan. So take from that what you will.

Conjoined twins, guarding our bill

We did it big at Straw, and our bill was about right for being gratuitously gluttonous, to the extent that I felt the need to take a nap on the car ride home (at approximately 9pm), and I couldn't even look at nearby liquid nitrogen ice creamery Smitten. For two appetizers, two entrees, two desserts (the corn on the cob gelato was a sample , which due to a kitchen mix up ended up a full-size portion), and two beers each, we rang up about a $75 tab. Not exactly cheap, but I'll gladly eat poor people salad (not the organic kind, but the kind you get from Target) and live off the memory of donut burgers and sriracha wings until I can afford to eat out again next week.




Straw
203 Octavia at Fell, San Francisco
(415) 431-3663
strawsf.com
Mon-Fri 5-10pm
Saturday 10am-3pm, 5-10pm
Sunday 10am-3pm, 5-9pm